Tough Love
BY: SULOCANA DEVI DASI
Dec 05, GUATEMALA CITY, GUATEMALA (SUN) — I like a lot Hridayananda' s appeal for loving exchange between devotees. It is something that should never be dismissed, regardless of how unappealing the personality of certain devotees might be to us. But the fact that we should keep quiet about his deviations from his asrama it is not something that I would call love. Even though some of the facts are very unpalatable and difficult to write on a public forum, this is still a loving exchange -- but it is tough love.
Over the past years, many devotees from different backgrounds and countries have approached him in a discrete manner about his dealings with women, which were not expected of someone portraying himself as a sannyasa and pure devotee acarya. He always disregarded all the personal approaches and made the necessary political maneuvers to have such courageous devotees, who came to him in a loving and confidential manner, removed from their service and slandered as crazy, envious demons. And to his credit, as an able and unscrupulous politician, he manages to keep them silent through psychological oppression (beware of offenses to the pure devotee - he will curse you and you will end up in hell), and miles away from his area of influence so that he could continue with his "successful preaching activities".
Of course, he really never cares about the people themselves, but just the service they can render to Srila Prabhupada and Krishna. Such a fine line to draw where I, me and mine ends, and Srila Prabhupada and Krishna begins. But as he told one devotee years ago: "Disciples are recyclable". So as we can see, over the years he has had a successful recycling operation. His appeal to keep things quiet and express them in a loving and confidential manner is precisely so that the recycling operation will not be harmed. After all this is the formula that has allowed him to trespass upon other people's fundamental human rights, exploit them, and at the same time maneuver the philosophy for his very selfish and personal motives.
Underneath all it is the assumption, let's keep devotees minds at ease, even if they are a little misguided and I am not really an ACHARYADEVA, but rather just another human being—Dr. Howard J. Resnick, with qualities and faults. Let them think I am a personal associate of God, let them think by serving me they can achieve love of God and I will eventually help them to be connected in a personal relationship with The Supreme Personality of God. What is the harm; by thinking this they will continue to distribute many books and give me the money from the upcoming Christmas marathon. Otherwise book distribution will come to a stop. After all, let's remember I am the doer, I am the controller. I have to exercise a lot of material manipulation so that book distribution and preaching can be successful. Krsna is not the controller, He is not the doer. It is me, with my material intelligence and my hard earned Harvard PhD.
But what I am seeing here is that this way of thinking has harmed and misled many people. Ultimately I have come to conclude, Hridayananda, that you have been the most harmed and misled. After all, like Srila Bhaktisiddhanta said, it is the world of the cheater and the cheated. I do not think you did so many austerities in your younger days, when you were a young sannyasa with many ideals, just to become a Professional Cheater. People of such backgrounds have already learned this since our early days in the crib.
My question is, why come and use this magnificent philosophy to achieve something that we know very well how to use, that runs in our genes? Exploit people, use them, deceive them, and make a monetary and psychological profit out of them. With us this was as easy as apple pie. We came to follow this process to get rid of that early crib training and to learn how to love. Do not fell prey to this maya trap, you can be much better than that. I knew you for a while, twenty something years ago, although I always kept a safe distance, which you disapproved of, because I was not supplying the adoration you so much thrive on. I observed you from a distance, and drew my own conclusions.
My husband (Aniruddha das) was your personal servant for many years, so I do have first-hand experience. You know these things and worse happened. I am also a personal eyewitness and since, by Krsna's grace, I have not suffered from a major illness other than common colds and allergies, you cannot so easily deny the facts based on my medical history.
It took me sometime to come up and write my part of this story, first because it does upset me, secondly because I do not want at all to write out of revenge or from an egotistic platform. But today I woke up and remembered this concept of tough love, and it is from this platform that I have written the above, because like I said, I remember a young, idealistic sannyasa I meet in 1977 and in a loving way, I am appealing to that Hridayananda das.
Secondly having been a book distributor I do care for humanity at large, and I do care for disciples being cheated and recycled. I do care about the book recipients that will come in contact with Dr. Resnick, and 97% of them after a first encounter with you will turn the books down because the Acharyadeva and pure devotee thing will not square in the minds of intelligent people. So in the name of love I am writing this on a public forum.
You, having been a guru and a professor, know that sometimes love has to be tough. It is not that in order to keep a student coming to your classes you will always grade him with an A, so that he does not become disappointed, when he actually deserves an F. Too bad if he stops coming, too bad if the Christmas Book Marathon stops, but isn't it better to come out clean no matter how hard it is? It feels so good at the end.
And no matter how hard, you are a qualified human being, part and parcel of Krishna, and you can always have a fresh start. Lord Caitanya's movement is orchestrated by Him. It won't stop because 50 or 100 devotees do not think you are Acharyadeva and a pure devotee. And you know, the sad part is that deep inside, they already know. Out of fear, they are also pretending. And at the end, the Cheater becomes the cheated, because you have convinced yourself of something you are not. And the cheap formula: be quiet, let's pretend so we can have book distribution, has yielded you very poor results. On the contrary, the deceptions and desertions due to the deceiving mentality in your camp are alarmingly high. After all, purity is, has been, and always will be the force.
With tough love,
Sulocana devi dasi (Formerly Rocana d.d.)
