Our Kids in India
BY: BHAKTIDHANA DEVI DASI
Feb 10, USA (SUN) — Regarding the article “Don’t send your kids to India,” I appreciate the author’s concern for our youth and his or her reminder of the security issues in India and things to be avoided while on pilgrimage or on any extended stay there. Obviously the more information we can have regarding dangerous situations the better. India’s culture deeply differs from the West in thousands of ways, and to spend time there successfully the customs and mores of the culture must be imbibed. Much of the author’s information is not new, but it hits home dramatically in light of the recent tragedy in Vrndavan. Such horrific events affect us all, and make us rethink our position in this precarious world.
In the aftermath of tragedy, often a reactionary backlash comes first with radical solutions to avoid reoccurrence. It’s human nature when in grief to react with overreaching ideas that attempt to throw a security blanket over our loved ones to protect them from the cruel hands of material existence. But as we know such armor does not exist in this world, and as the first waves of grief subside we can begin to think more philosophically about karma, about the nature of shelter, about freedom and the responsibility of individuals and societies.
My initial reaction to the terrible news was to circle the wagons, to hold my children close and to deny their budding attempts at venturing out from the nest. Trying to think rationally and broadly (without rationalizing) is hard at times like this, but it is crucial when the subject is our children, our movement’s future and attitudes and policies that could affect both.
First and foremost, I want to wholeheartedly agree that children under the age of 18 should not go anywhere on this planet without the supervision of a parent or guardian. In some cultures, or when we live among other cultures we may follow the tradition where the guardian is sometimes the teacher/guru, the uncle, a trusted family, the older brother, etc.. When this arrangement is vigilantly employed, it is usually an adequate defense. However, this is Kali Yuga, and danger lies like land mines at every step...everywhere! Danger comes in different packages, and Maya has her inimitable ways. It would be naive to think otherwise. So on a higher level I believe it is incorrect to think that we may be any safer in one place than in another. Unless we take undo risk our lives are in the hands of Krsna and/or karma.
On a more relativistic level we can talk about security comparisons. In the U.S. the incidence of home schooling has risen some 50% in the last 10 years due to school shootings, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancies and other degradations. Malls, government buildings, highways, playgrounds even our own backyards are sites of murder, kidnapping and mayhem. Every disgruntled person, young thug and crazy person can own a weapons arsenal, and Amber alerts go off almost daily. Arguments escalate to murderous violence in seconds, domestic abuse abounds, and children in lower income neighborhoods fill the newspapers as shooting victims. So we can hardly say America is a haven of security. In contrast, it is very difficult to obtain a gun in India due to its strict gun control laws. So the incidence of that kind of violence is rare.
Of course there are criminal elements in India also, but for whatever reasons there is some method to the madness whereby if one knows the “rules” much trouble can be avoided. For instance, there is hardly any significant crime that occurs before nightfall. If one simply removes him or herself from public places before dark, then 90% of problems can be eliminated. Not to trivialize the issues in India, there are many, but it should not be characterized as a war zone.
Regarding the youth that have strayed and behave badly while in India, we have all heard or seen the problems first hand. What is missing from the report is the percentage of youth who have thrived and taken advantage of their association in and around the Holy Dhams. What is also missing is a report on the troubles among our youth in Western devotee communities. All things being equal, it may not be fair to blame the environment or the situation, as these issues seem to occur universally. There will always be those who will misuse their good fortune and give a bad name to their peers.
I fear this letter about India being dangerous could be taken out of context and fall under a shadow of illusion, thus placing a pall over the glories of the Holy Dham, a roadblock, so to speak, to deter us from approaching the spiritual realm and minimize the amazing, positive effect that it has on our youth. In this aftermath of grief, let our desire to visit the most sacred places in all the universes not be covered over in the name of protection. Real protection is remembering Krsna at every second. Srila Prabhupad gave us Sri Vrindavan Dham so that we might have that opportunity to follow in the footsteps of the six goswamis and awaken our love for Radha and Krsna. He gave us Mayapur Dham so that we could receive the mercy of Guru and Gauranga, Lord Nityananda and all of their associates. It is in such places that remembering Krsna is most natural.
Of course, for an advanced devotee those places are in any and all corners of the world. But for the aspiring devotee...I ask you...when was the last time you went to school, or to work, or to the shopping mall, or even to your non devotee relatives and were greeted with the resounding cries of affection such as Radhe! Radhe!? Or when last did you step out into the street while a descendant of Krsna’s pet Surabi cow passed you by with a sidelong glance of affection? Or have you awakened recently to the sound of the cuckoo singing his fifth note for the pleasure of Radha and Krsna in their forest grove? Did you hear the thousands of arotik bells ringing this morning in the thousands of ancient temples within walking distance, to awaken the thousands of dieties being worshipped for hundreds and thousands of years? This is Sri Vrindavan Dham!
The potency of such places is undeniable, even for a very fallen soul such as me. This is Srila Prabhupad’s mercy ...this is the mercy that he will pass down to all the generations. Srila Prabhupad planned for us to bring our children to these extraordinary places...yes supervised at first...and when they become mature and strike out ...they will always know where their real home is. We cannot take shelter of Western society or any amount of material success. Our only real shelter is Radhe Syam!
I pray everyday ...how I can assist my children in remembering Krsna. I know the answer is personal in each family and must be balanced with the demands of survival and the nature of the child ...but I beg all parents to never minimize the immeasurable benefit from association of and service rendered in the Holy Dham. We must be very wary to believe it is safer in the West, where practically anyone can walk into a Walmart and buy a gun, where hunting is glorified even by our presidents, and where Mother cow is packaged in pretty cellophane and fed to infants. This is not a more civilized place. This is not a more advanced culture. Immersion into Western society for devotee youth is a very precarious path. Association with non-devotees, even those in the highest mode of goodness, cannot compare to a second spent in the Holy Dham. Material success, whatever that is, is a trick to keep us from remembering Krsna.
There is no measure of benefit that can be compared to the mercy of rolling in the sparkling dust of Vrindavan even once, or placing a few drops of water on your head from that black ribbon of bliss known as Kalindi Yamuna! No greater aspiration can compare to circumambulating that place known as Govardhan Hill or Radha Kund, Syama Kund! Let us, with maturity and wisdom and appropriate oversight, give our children the spiritual world! This is our real duty as parents. If there is chance of danger there, that chance is far greater here. Forgetfulness of Krsna is the real fatal bullet!
Our love and prayers go out to the family of Ananda Lila who have endured a terrible loss but whose courage and grace have been remarkable and an inspiration to many.
