Outstanding Devotee Website Awards
BY: HASYA MUKHI DEVI DASI
Nov 14, 2011 — SOMALIA (SUN) —
Still in Mogadishu, Somalia
I'm still camped out here in Mogadishu and longing for America. Go figure! Why, O why did I come here when I was recently asked to host the "Outstanding Devotee Website Awards" at one of the Kuli Melas. Some of the prizes I was to offer were "Best Site Where the Swami Looks Like the Sun" award. Well of course, that one went to HH Gopal Krishna Swami's site. He even has a smaller Moon Prabhupada behind the clouds smiling on the prominent Sun of Gopal Krishna. Isn't that special?! Have a look and see how with computer magic, Gopal Krishna Maharaja blinks like a firefly and shines in the sky to light up the earth: GopalKrishna.com.
Then there was the "Selfless Service Award" which went to one of my perennial favorites, His Holiness Lokanath Swami. Lokanath scored big because of his website's commitment to "serve all of humanity by distributing Lokanath's Lok Media titles globally". Yes, I can't think of a higher service to Shri Guru than selling your own recordings. Lokanath also snagged the "Devotee Wannabe Author Award" because on the BOOKS section of his website it announces "Coming Soon." Maybe he should edit the disastrously broken English on his site before trying to be an author! Well, perhaps using his site to sell a few copies of Bhagavad Gita As It Is hasn't occurred to either Lokanath or his webmaster. At least Lokanath's bio-data has all the elements. He was born on Ekadashi in a tiny Indian village. And he's not even Jewish!
Can you believe this picture of Lokanath and his Loka Media:
Is Lokanath singing the Bhagavad-gita to Lord Krishna?
The runner up in the "Guru Minimization Award" category was Bhakti Caru Swami. Can you believe that "His Holiness Bhakti Charu learned about Krishna consciousness from a book by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada." If you don't believe that His Holiness learned from A.C. Bhaktivedanta, then by all means take a look at www.BCSwami.com
Next was the "Survival Award", which went to a remarkable fellow who has been a blooped Beverly Hills millionaire for years, yet still manages to pose as an Acharya against the orders of the Spiritual Master, and even our lax GBC (who politely look the other way). Acharyadeva also received the "Clark Kent Award". Incredibly, this "Godly Holy Teacher" (isn't that what "Acharyadeva" means?) also has a link to his karmi website.
Judging from such fantastic dual-personality websites, apparently, the concept of "Guru" has a far different meaning to the leaders of ISKCON than the Founder-Acharya intended.
The next category I was to present was the "Flaky Ex-Devotee Sites" like the "Emperor Has No Clothes" award. Some of these sites defy belief or credibility. But the fact is that once you start down the slippery slope like an Olympics toboggan team, then it's a 100 kph race to the bottom. Some of these recipients thought it would be an eternal ride, but their websites show where they ended up!
The first award in the Flaky category is the "I Screwed Up Real Bad But I Can't Give Up Being A Guru" award. And the winner hands down goes to His ex-Holiness Harikesa Prabhu. Those who don't mind the white lie, the bending of the truth in their favor, the exaggeration to make themselves look like Gurus, should take a look at Harikesa's mayavadic site. ISKCON's gurus should just read his gobbledygook and then have a nice long contemplation about what it means to humbly rise to the post of genuine Guru or parade around as a poser Guru. I knew Harikesa was worthy of this award when I got an eyeful of his New Age crap. Here's a quote: "We will experience our being by loving without fear, without expectation, without attachment, without demands, and without judging ourselves or others. We shall accept life as it is, in conscious awareness of ourselves and the universe that we are co-creating. We shall be the wonderful and powerful spiritual forces of good we are." I would have liked to hear Harikesa's acceptance speech.
The slippery slope got real curvy and steep with the presentation of the next award. This one is the "I Created a New Religion on My Website" award. And the winner is Steve Bohlert / Subal das. He's the blooped Swami who at one point (1970) announced that Srila Prabhupada was God. Today he does not even think that Krishna is God. Still, his website declares that "he helped lead the Hare Krishna Movement to its success", even though Srila Prabhupada rejected him. Subal once asked Srila Prabhupada for permission "to perform tapasya at Radha Kund because all his Godbrothers were speaking nonsense." "No, Subal!" But today his website redefines nonsense. He now writes about "Universalist Radha-Krishnaism", the religion he invented. And seriously, Prabhus, this offensive @#$%^&*'s site is so odious; I don't want to list it. But try to keep in mind the point, those who out of insecurity feel a need to maximize themselves and minimize the Spiritual Master will end up as losers in the war with Maya. And Maya is so tricky, these guys use the Internet to advertise for her and thereby unwittingly show themselves off as her casualties.
If you do find Steve's website, be sure to take a shower. His religion is summed up with his mentor's words from his site, "If a little Buddha rubs off on Jesus, and a little Jesus rubs off on Buddha, so much the better for both of them." Subal / Steve calls that "cross-pollenization." He talks like his head was pollinated… by dung beetles. Congrats on the award, Steve.
The next award is the "If I Can't Be An ISKCON Guru, Then I Wanna Be a Motivational Guru". Of course that goes to Shri Jamadagneya das Indra Kapindra Rishi Jeffrey Armstrong Prabhu. In a nutshell, the website of this "Deepak Chopra of Blooped Devotees" has to be seen to be believed. It's a brilliant piece of poetic, mind-bending impersonal crap. He fulfills the purport of what Srila Prabhupada reportedly said about him: "Anyone who sees his face falls down." You can read the conversation of Srila Prabhupada rejecting him here. His website reveals where the ego of one who offends his guru through minimization can wind up.
* * * * *
The path to Guru is achieved by humility, and not by sitting on a big throne or creating a website full of computerized magic in the form of Photoshop divinity. From stretching the truth about saving the world through selling your CD's to selling out to mayavada; from "cross-pollination of religions, to becoming the author of "True Tantra: The Tapestry of Life" (by Jamadagneya/Armstrong), it is a long drop off the precipice of sadhana and a painful crash landing at the bottom.
Offending the order of Sri Guru begins with white lies and ends up in a New Age garbage heap. When the limits of the parampara are stretched beyond rational belief in order to fan the ego of unqualified men, the next step is the hallucination of becoming the world savior. And it all begins with minimization of the genuine Spiritual Master.
Remember that exaggerating the truth about oneself in order to attract others based on forged or falsified premises is a symptom of sex desire. Sex desire is the bane of the sannyasa ashram. As we know, the drunk at the bar bragging about being an astronaut is no different from an ordinary Mayavadi shudra who tries to attract female followers by claiming to be a Guru. Distinction, adoration and profit have no place in the heart of the genuine Sri Guru.
Come to think of it, this tent city here in Somalia, where there are no such people demanding worship, is looking a little more attractive.
