The Problem/The Solution
BY: HH B. RADHA-GOVINDA SWAMI
Jul 11, USA (SUN) — Based on some statements contained in Rocana prabhu's recent "Obeisances to Dandavats", along with statements written by so many devotees in so many other articles, I would like to again take the opportunity to introduce a VERY WONDERFUL book to ALL devotees - irregardless of ashram - as this book not only ANSWERS Rocana prabhu's question, "Where are the books, lectures and expert preaching materials they have produced on the matter?," but give ALL the (necessary) answers to the "WHYS, WHEREFORES" etc., of Srila Prabhupada's statements, (which are in actuality NOT Srila Prabhupada's statements, but rather, Srila Prabhupada's REPETITION of those statements from the Vedas) regarding wo/men and their inherent differences based on the material (subtle and obviously gross) body given.
Justice and Faith Collier's book, "The Man Woman Dilemma: Relationship Truths for Troubled Times" gives a VERY DEEP look into the fe/male psychology on so many levels. It is a WONDERFUL book with its VERY SERIOUS and MOST IMPORTANT (life-saving) messages, yet despite its seriousness and truthful address, these messages are often expressed with GREAT HUMOR, are most definitely POWER PACKED, and are given by these teachers - NOT from this Earth planet - with DEEP LOVE!
Prior to this question, Rocana prabhu wrote:
"We also knew that Srila Prabhupada's essential mindset was that he would never deviate from what is stated in the Vedas or in our Vaisnava scriptures, regardless of the potential backlash it might create due to the cultural context in which he was distributing this knowledge.
"Throughout his writings, Srila Prabhupada stuck completely to the Vedic version of the position of women within the culture that Lord Krsna established for human beings who chose to follow His recommended system. History has proven that this social construct is absolutely right and true, what to speak of the fact that the pure devotee, the previous Sampradaya Acaryas and the Vedas have all confirmed it to be true.
"It seems apparent that the current controversy is coming from women who, in the context of today's culture, are offended by Srila Prabhupada's statements. Given the demographics in ISKCON, we can assume that much of this preaching is coming from men in the movement. Of course, the subject matter of woman's role in society requires far more explanation and elaboration than one could possibly put in end notes or annotations, anyhow. What is required is very expert preaching on the matter, coming from those we expect to be dedicated, expert preachers who've been given full facility by the movement, such as sannyasis."
We as CONDITIONED jivas came to Srila Prabhupada (HOPEFULLY) to hear and accept the truths that such a PURE (UNconditioned) Suddha Bhakta Bhakta, Srila Prabhupada was disseminating to HELP us "rise above it all" (as Krsna says in BG 2.45: trai gunya visaya veda nistraigunyo bhavarjuna nirdvandvo nitya sattva stho niryoga ksema atmavan: "The Vedas mainly deal with the subject of the three modes of material nature. Rise above these modes. Be transcendental to all of them. Be free from all dualities and from all anxieties for gain and safety, and be established in the Self").
"The Man Woman Dilemma: Relationship Truths for Troubled Times" is a MOST NECESSARY - "MUST" - book FOR DEVOTEES of ALL ashrams, laying out VERY NICELY, SIMPLY and CLEARLY the man/woman "dilemma" on ALL levels, and is VERY EASY for BOTH wo/men to understand and NOT "feel offended" while reading its message. In FACT, honest devotees will LOVE it and find it GREATLY HELPFUL in their pursuit of Krsna Bhakti. And (I'm SURE) you will BOTH LAUGH at how things are expressed, get "HIT" with realization of the truths expressed, and possibly CRY to see how SO MANY (in the dress of devotees) "preached" so WRONGLY both in the past and present to us and other people.
Let's say this book give gives indepth insight into the "whys" behind Srila Prabhupada's statements concerning wo/men; the psychologies of both bodies, along with their interactions. Things are just "spelled out" VERY NICELY,- even HUMOROUSLY, but SERIOUSLY - in "The Man Woman Dilemma: Relationship Truths for Troubled Times".
It's a VERY WONDERFUL, ENLIVENING book, SOME devotees now having read, even EXPERIENCED the lessons, since Justice and Faith have visited some of the various devotee communities presenting their book along with workshops for devotees. This book will make it SO MUCH MORE UNDERSTANDABLE to the devotees, the DIFFERENCES in psychology between fe/male; AND, you will be VERY HAPPY reading this book!
Here are SOME excerpts from the book:
Pg 65: "This world is a mess. There is danger at every step. A man needs to be a rock for his family so they can feel safe and secure. This is the best way masculine love is communicated. It is not by saying those three little words in the bedchamber, unless he has build a firm foundation under the bedroom. If the floor is about to cave in, those lovely utterings will fall on deaf ears. A woman needs substance from her husband... Conflict arises from confused masculine, feminine identies and roles in the relationship."
Pg 58: "The divine romance between man and woman is based on eternal truth. It is not subject to change at the whims of the modern day mentality...The sexes are getting mixed up. Men are taking on many of the feminine roles, and women are taking on the masculine roles. Both are adopting the ways of the opposite sex because they think the grass is greener on the other side and that there is more freedom in the other's shoes...Women have stepped forward in external affairs where they don't belong, and the men have stepped forward in internal affairs...Ultimately this causes dissatisfaction for both the men and the women...Men are natural leaders of their families and their societies. They have to be..."
"Grandmother" who is speaking here, although the quintessential lady, some sentences later in the dialogue to explain something, choses to use the word, "pussywhipped" instead of "henpecked," and gives her explantion why THIS choice of words. She later goes on to say, "When women are leading men in external affairs, and men are leading women in internal affairs, the whole society falls apart." Further explaining the dynamics of fe/male relationship (in marriage), "Grandmother" tells us, "The woman is the visionary for the relationship...She is responsible for making sure the relationship stays on course with its highest purpose, and he (husband) is responsible for figuring out how to make it all happen...until the task is completed."
It's Krsna's creation, karmic law (so to speak), that there are general differences between the fe/male bodies. Obviously we can accept the physical differences because we're so accustomed to trusting that perception which come from our gross senses. Yet, many of us do not want to accept the subtle (psychological) differences whice ARE there.
Pg 20: "Grandmother" explains, "The relationship Laws have been lost, distorted and covered over. People have gotten so out of touch with the absolute guidelines that promote joy and fulfillment...Laws are truths which inform us of the natural design. There is a way to do things that allows us to received the full support of the universe, so we're not swimming upstream and causing ourselves unnecessary stress. This fact applies to relationship, as well as to every other aspect of our lives...
"There is a particular way that God intended for man and woman to be together so that they can truly be happy and fruitful, and it's important to know what that way is...The battlefield is situated right smack in the middle of each and every home where adherence to divine truth is not being observed...Goodness dos not stand in the face of misunderstanding between men and women."
Remember Arjuna's words to Krsna - BG 1.39-43? "Grandmother (pg 22) gives something similar: "All national and planetary wars begin with familial discord. Men and women at odds is the most destructive force there is. The breakdown of the masculine and feminine nucleus rocks the very foundation of all existence...Where nuclear love is not present in each family, the hell of nuclear war is a very real threat on the planet. What happens in the microcosm will also show up in the macrocosm."
SO MUCH MORE is said in this book, but (I recommend you) read it yourself.
For anyone who reads this book, it will be(come) CLEAR, that in the ultimate issue, even though there ARE differences (due to the INHERENT qualities that are given BY KRSNA by dint of "mechanics") in subtle fe/male body (besides the obvious differences in externals of the gross body), on the spiritual platform, ALL are EQUAL. AND, despite the differences of FUNCTION based on fe/male differences in subtle body, in the sense of "combined efforts" in relationship, both fe/male are equal contributors to the relationship itself and to one another's development. If we don't properly acknowledge and live within/according to, our KRSNA-given differences, then we will be MISERABLE!!! (It's as simple as that!)
Visit Justice and Faith at www.DivineCouple.com.
AND GET "The Man Woman Dilemma: Relationship Truths for Troubled Times" here.
Your servant,
Dasi, B. Radha-Govinda
Hare Krsna
