Svalikhita-jivani, Part 7
BY: SUN STAFF
Jul 27, CANADA (SUN) — The autobiography of Kedarnatha Datta Bhaktivinoda, written in 1896.
Part Seven, 1852-57
“third year in Calcutta"
At that time I took mother and Hemalata to Calcutta. Having brought them there we stayed at the house of Kaliprasanna Datta [my mother's paternal uncle] in Simla, north central Calcutta. Grandmother remained in Ula. By winter my sister was married and they returned to Ula. During the rainy season I again got blood dysentery. I had it in my mind to go to the fakirs in Ula for the purpose of getting cured, but I had been at fault breaking the rules a little and so was not able to go to them.
I had been eating demigod prasada and so the power of the mantra was defeated. I was like an elephant which takes a bath and then throws dust upon its body, so what was the use of another mantra? This time I took the medicine given by a doctor named Isvara. Within a month my illness was gone. Isvara was very expert in determining illness through reading the pulse, but he had a bad name because he did not have any medicine. In curing me to a large extent his bad name was removed.
By the third year in Calcutta I had made a lot of progress. I wrote in English a little for the newspaper Hindu Intelligencer of Kashi Babu. He edited all that I wrote. An association was started and I gave some lectures in English. At that time Krsnadas Pal and Shambhu Mukhopadhyaya came and made friends with Kasi Babu and afterwards began to write for the Intelligencer. Shambhu was a satirist. He employed many sharp words and after sometime his writing was no longer pleasing. From the beginning Krsnadas wrote essays. Gradually, as I improved, I joined them in writing.
“no one has any knowledge”
In 1855 there was the Santal uprising and the newspapermen wrote a good deal on the subject. I read the papers. I had never seen the Santal district but I thought that they were becoming prominent and forming a new jati [caste] like the Hans and Bhantal.
On Sundays some of us from our place used to go and see monuments and Barobazar and the Seven Pond Gardens in Calcutta. I was unable to get to know all the multitude of alleys and side streets in Calcutta. Even so, we would wander about and go to different societies like the Free Debating Club etc. On the strength of my little learning I did I thought that no one but me had any knowledge.
In that year Mahesh Dada and Mej Mami went and stayed in Ula. Having opened the interior door which had been bolted by grandfather, Mahesh Dada set up residence in the parlour. Sital Teoyari and Hanuman Simha became guards at the main door once more. All in the house were happy because there was going to be a legal settlement with the opposing party. When I returned home for the puja holiday I was very happy. I stayed in the parlour of Baro Dada. All of my former friends would come and talk, and I went to see my old school for half a day.
“reading all the books in the library”
I would go and wander about my old house and my friends' houses. It seemed that all of Ula was faring well. After the wife of Baro Dada came to Ula, mother brought my wife. My wife was very small in those days and we would play together like children.
At the end of the school break I returned to Calcutta. While I was staying in Ula with my former friends I discussed many topics regarding the Supreme Controller [Isvara]. Uncle Parasurama had no faith in the Lord at all. At the time I came back to Calcutta I studied all manner of English books on philosophy. One by one I read all the books in the library of Kashi Babu. My teacher Isvara Babu helped me a lot with my reading.
I first enrolled in Hindu School in the year 1856. The Headmaster was Babu Mahesh Candra Bandyopadhaya and Isvara Chandra was my history teacher. Mahendra Soma taught mathematics to me. That year the University was started. College classes were held in Presidency College. The senior classes of Hindu School were held in the west wing, Sanskrit College was in the middle section and junior classes were held in the eastern wing.
“the British India Society”
In our class were Satyendranath Tagore, Ganendranath Tagore and Nabagopal Mitra and many others. For a long time I was inexpert at mathematics though in other subjects I did very well. At that time entrance examinations were first begun. I had so much competence in literature that I was respected by the teachers and the whole class. I began to write poetry which came to attention of the teachers and gradually came to the attention of the principal.
At that time Keshava Candra Sen was a Hindu boy and he studied in the class above me. He was also not very good at math’s and there was no chance of his passing in that class. Therefore, being strong in knowledge of literature, he established a sabha called the British India Society. English professors and Reverend Dal used to attend the sabha. Because I had a little literary knowledge Keshava requested me to become a member of the sabha.
At this time gas lighting was introduced in Calcutta. One evening Kashi Babu and I went to Narikel Place to see the gas company offices. Many dignitaries were invited to see the first use of gas lighting. Prasanna Kumar, Rabindranath Tagore and many others came. Everyone was thrilled to see the gas lights.
“phuti, chatu and a pana of mangoes”
Sarasvati Puja and Jhulan Yatra were celebrated at the house of Kashi Babu and I went there to see and hear the dramas on several occasions. A lot of luchi, kachori, ksheera, and mohan bhoga was eaten. Madan Mastar and Dugo Ghadel were among the musical dramas that I went and heard. I had very little knowledge of music, but I liked to hear a song sung with emotion very much.
In those days I was able to eat a lot. When I went to the garden to Kashi Babu to his house I would do a lot of eating. Some days I would eat a lot of phuti [a variety of green melon] and gur [jaggery]. Some days I would eat a lot of chatu [a chickpea dish], on other days I would eat a pana [20 gandas] of mangoes. Everybody would be amazed.
My body was very thin even though I ate so much and everybody was very puzzled. O Lalu [Lalita], that rajavallabha medicine I took increased my appetite for a long time. At that time in the hot season Kashi Babu and his family lived in the gardens. I often walked from Pak Para [a district in Calcutta] as far the college at Patal Danga.
“Padre Dal and Thompson Saheb”
There was then a great commotion over cholera, but even so I was not averse to coming and going. From 1854 onwards I made acquaintance with my blood relations by studying genealogy. Kali Prasanna Dada helped me by giving me an old book on the subject. Kaka Bhola Natha Babu began to make money at that time and he helped by giving money to me for my tuition. I went boldly from the Hindu School to take the entrance examinations to university, the examinations being held in the town hall. On the first day my fever came on me in the town hall. Therefore, I was not able to take the examination.
Seeing that school did not provide a proper opportunity to study I began to acquire knowledge in another fashion. Everyday I would go to Metcalf Hall and read books. At that time Sriyukta Abhaya Kada was the secretary there and Pyari Charan Mitra Takhakar was the librarian. I gave lectures at many sabhas. I had learned discussions with Padre Dal and George Thompson. Thompson Saheb instructed me on how to become a good speaker.
He said that while he was going from the village he resided in to the parliament he would stand in the open fields and imagining the plants to be the members of parliament he would freely speak to them. Because of practicing in this fashion he became such a sweet speaker that everyone would be pleased upon hearing him. On the day that he told us that story Nabagopal Mitra and Keshava Sen were present. Keshava said that by talking to simple little children as had Thompson, I would begin to speak in that fashion.
“Reverend Duff and Mr. ABC“
By the end of 1856 I had written the first part of Poriyade. Gangacharan Sen Mahasaya read it and liked it very much. On his advice, I subsequently published the book in two parts. After reading the work, the Reverend Duff said that I had done very well. He said, "Write in the same fashion in English about the cruelty of the Zamindars." I realized that this was not a good idea.
At that time I read all of Milton with the help of Reverend Duff. Near the Krsna Bandor Street Church lived a missionary named Grub Saheb. In the evenings Raju Basu of Ula used to come to his house and read Edison. I also went with him and read Edison. Day and night I would read the books of Carlisle, Haslett, Jeffrey, Macaulay and others. I composed short poems and they were printed in the Library Gazette. I was known as “Mr. ABC.”
One day, having invited me through Dal Saheb, Mrs. Locke looked over my poetry and read it. After chatting with me for some time she praised my poetry and accepted my book of poetry, which I dedicated in her name.
Before the entrance examinations I went to Ula with Raju Basu. After spending the night eating in the Mitras' house we set off in a boat during a great storm. There was much fear on the Ganges in the dark night. The next day, by the mercy of God, we reached the ghat at Ula without mishap. In the late evening in the month of Asvin the light of the moon was very splendid there. Prior to that evening I had received no news of Ula.
“The village was empty“
From the time of Ashat in that year in the village of Ula there was a fearful epidemic. In the month of Bhadra the family of Mahesh Dada being ill had come to Calcutta, but had not said anything to me. In the month of Bhadra in a terrible fever my sister Hemalata gave up her life, but I had received no news of her. My wife was ill so she was sent to Ranaghat. What could I do in the night but think I should go to the house? Raju said, "Go, I will give you a man to accompany you to your house."
Upon disembarking I saw some people who were laughing and joking being mad with the happiness that comes from hopelessness. The village was empty. As they were under the influence of ganja they perceived no suffering. I questioned them but they gave no answers. Raju and I were amazed at the sight of them.
Departing from the boat, we went to the house of Madhusudan. When we looked through the door we saw Madhusudan Basu sitting on a low wooden seat. I paid respects to him and he addressed me, saying, "O Kedar, stay here for the day; in the morning you go to your house."
What was I to make of this? I said to myself, "I will go to the house this very day." I heard directly from him that an epidemic had killed many people in the village and some people of our house had died. I went there quickly, taking a man skilled in stick fighting.
“unable to stand up“
While on the way this man described the horrible state of the village. He said, "Mahesh Babu became ill and went to Calcutta", but he did not say what had happened. The main door of the family residence was open. I called and called many times, when from the deity house Sital Teoyari spoke, saying, "Babu, go inside the house." I felt very sick. I was unable to stand up.
I went to the puja house and calling repeatedly, until Sej Didi came. She opened the door and brought me into our room. She was crying and crying and said that Hemalata was no more. Your mother was very sick. Upon entering my mother's room I discovered that mother had been delirious with fever for the past ten to twelve days, but on this day she was a little better.
Seeing me, mother and grandmother began to cry. In sorrow I said, "Today we will leave Ula." During the night I did not eat or drink and I slept only a little.
“cries of pain“
When I rose in the morning, I considered what to do. I heard that all the maids had died. Only one servant remained to bring water. In the morning I went to see Sayaram Mama and Dasu Mama and others at their house. Dasu Mama said, "Go to Calcutta. I will give you a man and a boat etc." Sayaram Mama was taking quinine. I brought two or three packets of medicine and from that day I began to take it.
I came to the old house calling to Haru Mama and Parasurama Mama. Because they wanted to come with me they began to sell some of their things. Jagat Bhattacarya Mahasaya brought a boat and set out with us on the journey on the third day. The day before we set out I went to many places in Ulagram.
In a great number of homes there were no people left alive. At some homes there was heard the cry of pain of those who were sick. At some homes there were bodies lying around. At other homes there was little life. Others were making preparations to leave Ula. Many had already left. It was the time of Durga puja but there was no happiness anywhere.
“simple, crazy people of Ula”
Where thousands of people would sit together and take prasada, nobody could be seen. Though there were eighty to a hundred places of the image of Durga there was only five or six pujas being performed. Everybody said that at the house of the Brahmacari, Kailas Brahmacari had caused the disease. He then released a goat for the purpose of removing the cause of the disease. As far as that goat ran, that far the cholera subsided. The simple and crazy people of Ula concocted this story and they all began to believe it.
It was also reported that two people came to Ula to practice medicine, but after two or three days they also had fallen in the grip of death. The fever was fearful. Whoever got the fever died within four or five hours. I heard that during the months of Asat and Sravan the fever was not very bad, but in the month of Bhadra it was fearful.
Taking the boat and arriving at last at the ghat at Ranaghat, I received news of my wife. I heard that my wife's disease had changed for the better. Merely getting this news we continued to Calcutta. Upon arriving in Calcutta, mother stayed at the house of Kalikrishna Kaka with my paternal grandmother. My mother was taken to the house of my aunt, who would care for her. She made a lot of effort and took medicine, and she mother gradually became well there.
“darkness in all directions“
Grandmother became sick while on the boat. Through the efforts and love of Kali Kaka she gradually became well but later a stomach ailment and fever returned. At that time I was seventeen years old. I suffered terrible hardships. There was no money. There was no one to converse with. Everybody thought that my mother had almost a lakh [100,000] of Rupees.
I said that we had only very little but no one believed us. At this time I studied on my own for the entrance examinations. Grandmother lived in one place, and mother in another place; there was no money and all the time I was overwhelmed.
Seeing sickness all around I was not able to study. I thought, "A man can not study amidst such difficulties". At this time, thrice in succession, I had fevers. The last time Kaliprasanna Dada brought me quinine I took it and became well.
I went to take the examination but the fever again prevented me. I saw no hope. My mind became apathetic. The house was empty, there was no money, and I had no strength. Where were my family, where my illness, the impossibility of study, darkness in all directions.
“in the Tagore's family mansion“
Grandfather and grandmother were both from famous families; knowing this fact I suffered. Solely to console my suffering I would sit and talk with friends my own age. Everybody thought that I was the son of a very rich person and that I had no financial needs. I was dying of pain in the heart. I did not speak much to anyone. I would attend meetings: I listened and spoke freely from my heart as a diversion.
Nobody could understand the feelings in my heart. I ate at the house of Kasi Babu but had discussions on books at the houses of friends. Frequently in the evenings I visited the home of Sriyukta Debendranath Tagore, which was called Jorasanko, the Tagore's family mansion. The honourable Dvijendranath Tagore was the older brother of my friend Sriyukta Satyendranath Tagore and my older brother as well.
If ever among men there was a close friend then baro dada was that close friend. He was charitable, of good character, had a pure love, and was honest, and my heart was enlivened by him. Upon seeing him all my troubles would go away.
I would sit by him and discuss many Sanskrit books. I had much affection for Satyendranath Tagore, but I was always overwhelmed by the great qualities of Dvijendranath Babu. He was without attachment for worldly things, and when I was with him I was happy and gave up thoughts of material things. Therefore, staying with him was all good for me, but staying with others was not so good.
“O brother Kedar, your thinking is very deep.“
At that time I read many books on the science of God, which was the particular science that effected the removal of anxiety from my heart. When I discussed things with Dvijendranath there was help of Kant, Goethe, Hegel, Swedenborg, Schopenhauer, Hume, Voltaire, and Cousin.
Having discussed the books of many writers I concluded in my mind that dravya [substance] has no real existence. Guna [quality] alone exists. Dravya is but the sum total of the gunas. The gunas actually exist but there is no proof for the necessity of there being a gunadhara [upholder of gunas]. Dvijendranath heard my conclusions in the matter of philosophy and considered them and said, "O brother Kedar, your thinking is very deep. I am not able to defeat you."
"The twenty five stories of the Vetala"
Dvijendranath was a person who was a reservoir of intellect. In knowledge of the padarthas he was one without a second. Hearing his words my mental strength doubled. I was a guest speaker on philosophy at some learned societies.
Tarkanath Palit was a classmate and good friend of mine and at that time he had not yet gone to England. He liked very much my presentation and proposed to me that I speak to the British Indian Society. In that assembly the Englishmen said that my presentation was deep. Dal Saheb asked, "What will be the benefit to mankind from acquiring knowledge of this sort?"
At one other meeting of this sabha, having written in the form of a play in English "The twenty five stories of the Vetala" [Vetala panch vimsati] I recited it. On that day there was a great debate. And from that day my friends of my own age considered me a logician and began to tell everybody.
