Fate of the Bimbo Brahmanas
BY: CHAKRESHWAR GOSWAMI
Sep 02, 2010 — INDIA (SUN) — After reading Mahavidya Prabhu's tirade, "Hodge Podge", about English Hare Krishna pandits blessing automobiles of nouveau-riche Hindus at Bhaktivedanta Manor, our Sunday morning social circle had a chuckle over the irony. Even those with short memories need not be reminded that it was just over two generations ago when the British pucca sahibs were still wholesaling their white man's burden to the Indians. What would Clive of India think if he saw proper English Hindus blessing cars? Those were the days before India's biggest auto maker, Tata, wrenched the tights to the British icons of motorized luxury, Jaguar and Range Rover. Today, who is blessing who?
In many of the lectures I have listened to by Srila Prabhupada, some originating from the Manor itself, His Divine Grace upbraided the expat Indians for their blind imitation of the Western ways. Calling them "beggars" who had all but abandoned their culture, he compared the rising generation of Bollywood junkies in the West to "new crows" who eat the leftovers of the previous flock. In one talk, the Acarya called the materialistic Hindus of the West "pigs", but added that "only the big pigs can swim across." With the rise of car blessing pandits at the Manor nowadays, it looks like pigs can swim across both directions of the high seas. That which has been left as rejects by one society is a feast for the famished newcomer on either side of the ocean. Here's why:
A two-edged sword cuts in both directions, and abandoning dharma in the quest for illicit wealth will not go unnoticed by the powers that be. Is there a flat rate, one wonders, or does some humble Vauxhall cost less to bless than, say, a Bentley? I wonder, too, if they know that no self-respecting brahmana in India will actually bless a mechanical device. Those who shamelessly genuflect before a fistful of paisa thrown their way are considered twice born jokers. That which has been left as refuse by the Hindus has now been scooped up by the sahibs.
As I was to learn amidst the guffaws of our social get-together, stagecraft does not always merit a giggle when religion is sold down the Queen's Highway. A story was shared about an incident some years back wherein a Bihari pandit adorned an Ambassador sedan with tikka and incense smoke. Afterwards, the story goes, the car had nothing but bad luck, break-downs, scrapes, fender benders and flat tires. The exasperated driver returned to the village and drove the car into the brahmana's residence, injuring some of the brahmana's family members. The villagers poured kerosene inside the car and set it ablaze, while the driver escaped on a passing lorry.
A word to the wise safed-walla pandits at Bhaktivedanta Manor: automobile blessings might turn into a very costly business indeed. Unless you can find a way to sell "good karma insurance" with each blessing.
