Don't Send Your Kids to India
BY: ANONYMOUS DASA
Feb 7, USA (SUN) — I apologize in advance for having to write this anonymously. I would really like to identify myself, but the subject matter is very controversial in today’s ISKCON, and some of our parents and young people would be very offended and attack me for what I have to say. The unpleasant truth should be spoken, however, especially since we’ve lost a very dear young girl, and we stand to lose more.
The untimely passing of Ananda Lila from this world should make us think how to protect our children. While I do not know if it is true in Ananda Lila’s case, it is common for ISKCON parents to send their children, no more than teenagers, to India on their own. I must say I’m concerned that Ananda Lila’s parents had to come to India to respond to the tragedy. She was 17 years old, wasn’t she? What was she doing in India without them?
I know parents who send their children to India; a few of them are prominent members of ISKCON. Boys and girls are set loose in Vrndavana or Mayapura for months at a time. Some of them take drugs and have illicit sex in the holy dhamas. Though they may show enthusiasm for chanting (some of them are recognized bhajan and kirtan leaders), they while away the rest of their time in idleness or sinful life. Vrndavana and Jagannatha Puri have become their preferred destinations.. Some of the locals see our movement as a farce because of the sad state of our youth. ISKCON youth who are honest will corroborate what I write.
If you don’t want your teen-aged son or daughter to become degraded, what to speak of put in danger of physical harm, why would you send them to India without your supervision? Are you crazy? To do so means that you are guilty of neglecting their welfare, you are a useless parent and a threat to society.
Young people want unfettered freedom. Although they are under-age, unmarried, and unable to support themselves and pay their own bills, they want to go where they want and do what they want. Although they haven’t developed the discrimination to avoid bad association, they want to be with whoever they want. A caring parent will recognize these qualities of immaturity and give protection. A foolish, bogus parent will indulge their material desires and look the other way when they’re in trouble.
I have heard absurd rationalizations from ISKCON parents about their children: “They’re going to sow their wild oats anyway”, or “They have to learn by experience”, or “I experimented with drugs when I was young - it’s not such a big deal.” And an even worse one, to my mind: “She’s a good devotee - I can trust her. She won’t get into any trouble.” If she’s a teenager, trouble will find her. It’s your job to stand between her and danger. If you can’t do that, then you’re a rascal and a coward.
And please, parents - don’t offer the excuse that you’ve sent your son or daughter to India under the care of someone else. Unless they’re in the Holy Dhama as part of a carefully monitored group with rigid curfews and stringent rules, they shouldn’t be there at all. And no one other than a parent is going to give them proper supervision. No one. I regularly hear about groups of young people in India under the care of a “guardian” who is more interested in being popular with the kids than protecting them. Or the kids are being “supervised” by a neighbor, or some other nonsense.
Don’t wait until your child is killed in India, or comes home with a drug habit or an incurable sexually transmitted disease. You may not be popular with your kid by keeping them close or saying no, but years from now they will thank you. Believe me - I know.
And I appeal to ISKCON authorities to clamp down on the presence of unsupervised minors in ISKCON communities in India. Put the kids under guard and call their parents to have them shipped home. Censure the parents or fine them. If the parent has a position in ISKCON, make it clear that they won’t have it for long unless they show some responsibility for their family members.
Your servant,
Anonymous
